Mommy Forward

If I Die Young

2012-01-12T01:45:00.000-05:00

Next week I turn the big 3-8. We could debate whether that's young or old all day long, but for these purposes, let's call that young.

If you're not familiar with the song If I Die Young as sung by The Band Perry, this beautiful song is filled with heart-tugging truths. My favorite line is:

Life ain't always what you think it ought to be

How many years I wasted wishing for what I thought life should be instead of simply enjoying it, accepting it! The joys, the mistakes, the hurdles, and the hurts have all contributed to the person I am today. The other day someone asked me to define the purpose of Mommy Forward. In a nutshell, it's to help others to realize and live their worth - something I needed to learn and to live first before I could share it. Joyce Meyer once said, "Act valuable and start enjoying yourself and the life Jesus died to give you." And that's what I have attempted to do.

Last night during worship at a women's event, eyes filled with tears, I realized what it feels like to live the restoration of what the locusts had eaten. Life has not always been easy. But God has done and is doing amazing things on my behalf, personally and professionally, and I want Him to receive all of the glory. No, life wasn't always what I thought it ought be be, but what the enemy meant for evil, God has used for good.

In the past few years, I've realized several dreams. I became a mom through adoption; lost over 50 pounds; became a published author and speaker; got involved in women's ministry; started a company; and am working to promote local businesses. I've been comforted, blessed, and restored beyond measure.

Each day I learn a little more how to accept and embrace what is instead of wishing life away for what ought to be. I'm vocalizing it here because it's never too early or too late to make a change. So, if I do die young, I'll join my Savior in heaven and have no regrets at all.

Questioning Jesus

2012-01-02T12:37:00.002-05:00

Have you ever questioned Jesus? Or does just the thought make you gasp? If good communication marks a healthy relationship, then dialoguing with Jesus - even questioning Him - seems healthy, right? After all, Jesus loved questions. That's how He handled the woman at the well, the chief priests, and countless others with whom He interacted.

But the question He posed to a chronically ill man struck a nerve in me, "Do you want to get well?" (see John 5:6.) I imagined myself questioning back, "Duh, Jesus, of course he wants to get well! He's tired of living this way. He came to see You, didn't he? What other proof do You need? Sheesh!"

Sure, the man wanted to get well. But how much so? He had traveled to the edge of the pool only to make excuses. No one was there to help him. Other people got ahead of him. Blah, blah, blah. Jesus challenged him to get up, walk, and take an active role in his healing.

Today I stare at a photo of myself from 50 pounds ago and ask, "Michele, do you want to get well?" My heart replies, "Duh, of course I want to get well! I'm tired of living this way. I had lap band surgery, didn't I? What other proof do I need? Sheesh!"

Sure, I wanted to lose weight, gain energy and confidence, and improve the quality of my life. But how much so? Perhaps I, too, have traveled to the edge of wellness only to make excuses. The band hasn't been as successful as I'd hoped and I've made all of the changes I'm willing to make.

In some ways, I'm like a sailor who dropped their boat in the water but refused to study the wind, raise the sail, and steer. To that I might question, "Why are you going to choose failure when success is an option?" (one of my favorite quotes from Jillian Michaels.)

If I'm completely honest with myself, Jesus is challenging me to take the next steps toward wellness: to practice mindful eating, become disciplined with my calories, and exercise more. I guess that's why pointing a finger at someone else always ends with pointing several fingers back at me.

A heartfelt note on healing: If given the option, we would probably all choose complete healing. But life doesn't work that way. Often times, like the apostle Paul, we face difficult circumstances that cannot be willed or prayed away. Whatever you're facing, I don't belittle your pain or imply that you lack faith enough to change it. Instead, because of my own painful experiences, I offer a hug and a prayer for enduring strength.

Image: Dominic Harness / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Moving Forward in 2012

2012-01-01T18:27:00.000-05:00

"Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself." - Author unknown

It's natural to reflect on the old and forge ahead toward the new, especially at the dawn of a new year. And while my goals still outnumber my accomplishments, I'm proud of the new ground I covered in 2011 - publishing a book, leading a Bible study, and forming a company, to name a few. My Type A, self-evaluating personality would normally sit here for a while, analyzing and agonizing over twelve months of opportunities and decisions. This year, however, be it wisdom, age, fatigue, or a combination, I'm content to simply close the door on 2011 and anticipate the coming year.

Sometimes I'm asked what "Mommy Forward" means to me. Surely it stands for something enough to name a blog and now a company with that name. I came up with a few tag lines over the years, like "inspiring the ME in Mommy" and "nurturing myself without neglecting my family" to capture the idea that moms should take care of themselves along with their families. In 2012, I'm ready to dive deeper.

FORWARD is an acronym for what I believe are the key areas of life: Faith, Organization, Relationships, Work, Activities, Rest, and Discovery. As I live out the days of this new, leap year, I will explore how balancing these 7 areas helps me and my family to thrive, since being the best "me" I can be benefits us all.

If what George Eliot once said is true, that "it is never too late to be what you might have been," may 2012 bring us closer still.

Different Dream Parenting (Guest Post)

2011-12-11T15:33:00.000-05:00

Today I invited author Jolene Philo to share about her new book, Different Dream Parenting, because families dealing with special needs (like mine) can never have too much support and encouragement. One of my favorite lines in the book states, "Taking care of myself is not selfish. It is essential." That's just a sample of the spiritual, practical, and heart-felt wisdom Jolene placed throughout the book. I highly recommend this book, as well as A Different Dream for My Child: Meditations for Parents of Critically or Chronically Ill Children, to all families facing medical, behavioral, or educational challenges in parenting.

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Whenour beautiful newborn boy was transferred to a regional hospital, myhusband and I felt lost at sea. A few hours later, we learned thatour baby required immediate surgery at a university hospital 750miles away. Without it, he would die. That news threw us overboard.We longed for someone who could come alongside and pull us out of thewater. A book to chart a map through unfamiliar waters and assure usof God’s presence.

Butour son was born in 1982 when pediatric medicine was a relatively newfield. Families like ours were hard to find. Parenting books hadn’tbeen written. The internet didn’t exist. Over the next twentyyears, even after the surgeries and medical procedures that correctedour son’s condition were over, my search for parenting resourcesyielded scant results. Eventually, I sensed God nudging me to comealongside young parents lost at sea like we had been, to create a mapthey could follow.

DifferentDream Parenting: A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with SpecialNeeds is that map. It’s a map for parents of kids living withmedical special needs as well as conditions like Down Syndrome,juvenile diabetes, developmental delays, and autism, and those facinga terminal diagnosis. It guides parents by providing tools andresources they need to become effective advocates for their kids.

Thebook features interviews, advice, and resources from more than fiftyfamilies, including parents who adopted their children, and two dozenprofessionals. With their help, the book addresses the situationsparents face every day. Things I wish someone had told me, like:

Asking questions after diagnosis.
Dealing with insurance companies.
Preparing a child for a hospital stay.
Accessing financial resources and government monies.
Accessing special education services.
Determining optimum level of care.
Mobilizing volunteers at home.
Supporting the sibs.
Preparing a child for death.
Planning a funeral.
Participating in community and church events.
Creating a special needs trust for adult children with special needs.

Inaddition to practical advice, Different Dream Parentingtackles spiritual questions families are often afraid to ask.Questions about:

God’s sovereignty
Parental guilt
Setting and maintaining spiritual priorities
Grieving for children living with special needs
Grieving the death of a child
Passing faith on to children with special needs

Thirtyday prayer guides in the appendices are for parents too exhausted toform their own prayers.

Iremember what it’s like to be lost at sea, thrown overboard by anunexpected diagnosis, and drowning under a flood of caregivingdemands. My goal is to put Different Dream Parenting into thehands of floundering parents so they have a map and know they’renot alone. To order the book, visit www.DifferentDream.comand click on the “buy the book” tab.

Thanks,Michele, for this opportunity to guest blog at your website and tellpeople about Different Dream Parenting.

Bookworm Wednesday: The House of Hope review

2011-11-23T06:58:00.000-05:00

As an adoptive mom, today's book selection, The House of Hope: God's love for the abandoned orphans of China by Elisabeth Gifford, focuses on a subject near and dear to my heart. It chronicles the work of Robin and Joyce Hill who have cared for over 1,000 medically needy orphans to date in China. Here's why I enjoyed and endorse this book.

Many people recognize needs. A rare few actually roll up their sleeves and provide a solution. Robin and Joyce Hill are definitely the latter. They didn't embark on a China adventure hoping to save the world. Instead, while living in China on a work assignment, they saw children needing love and care. Soon they felt called to help the ones they could. They quote the starfish story to illustrate their vision:

Hundreds of stranded starfish were dying along a beach, and an old man was slowly throwing them back into the sea one by one. Someone came along and pointed out that his task was hopeless and told him, "It won't make any difference, there are too many for you to save them." But the old man held up a starfish and said, "It makes a difference to this one," and then threw it back in the sea. [pg. 20]

The author continues, "It is impossible to meet the Hills and hear their story without asking questions about how you live your own life." And that's exactly how I felt reading this book. If the Hills could go from offering one orphan a cot in their dining room to providing surgeries, medical care, foster homes, and sometimes even adoptive families to sick and abandoned children in China, surely we can all pitch in to make a difference in our own little corners of the world.

The book is filled with scripture, stories, and color photos around the Hill's work at Hope Foster Home and a partnership with Steven Curtis Chapman's ministry, Show Hope and Maria's Big House of Hope (named after the Chapman's deceased daughter.) It's inspiring, uplifting, and empowering. Plus -100% OF THE PROCEEDS OF THIS BOOK GO TO FUND THE WORK AT HOPE FOSTER HOME.

Buy the book here.

The publisher is sponsoring a $50 "GET / GIVE" GIVEAWAY: One winner will receive a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate for themselves AND $50 will be given in the winner's name to Hope Foster Home. To enter all you have to do is send a tweet (using #HFH) about The House of Hope or share about it on Facebook! [If you tweet we'll capture your entry when you use #HFH. If you share it on Facebook or your blog, just email them and let them know (ckrumm@litfusegroup.com) so they can mark your entry.)

Not sure what to tweet/post? Here's an idea:

TWEET THIS: Couple gives all to rescue babies in China! 100% proceeds go to #HopeFosterHome http://ow.ly/7qR3e RT 4 $50 to @amazon & $50 to #HFH

FACEBOOK THIS: The House of Hope: One couple abandons a comfortable life to rescue abandoned children. Robin and Joyce Hill have helped over 1300 Chinese orphans with severe medical problems. Purchase a copy for everyone you know - the book is a gift that gives a gift. 100% proceeds to help support the work at Hope Foster Home! Learn more here: http://litfusegroup.com/blogtours/text/13438821 Share this for a chance to get a $50 Amazon.com GC and $50 in your name to Hope Foster Home! Click For Details.

About The House of Hope: One couple’s powerful ministry to some of China’s most vulnerable children

Robin and Joyce Hill lived in a gated community in Beijing. Their family’s life was marked by luxury and the security of Robin's job as an engineer. Then one day, as members of their church, they had a chance to tour a state-run orphanage. Haunted by the needs of the children they saw there, for the next four years they tried to help the institute in meaningful ways.

In 1998 the Hills planned to leave China, but instead felt a sudden call from God on their lives. They left their gated community--reserved for only non-Chinese residents--moved their family into a small apartment miles outside of Beijing and immediately began to take in foster children.

They took in any child, but especially those that needed extra care—terminally ill children that couldn't receive care elsewhere, and those that needed complicated and expensive surgeries that the Hills soon began to coordinate and sometimes pay for out of their own savings.

What began as Hope Foster Home is now New Hope Foundation. As they continue their work, the Hills enjoy support from major corporations and high-profile philanthropists as well as the trust of the Chinese authorities. The Hills' story is an inspiring example of God's care and provision for those whom society does not value. Learn more about Hope Foster Homes here: http://www.hopefosterhome.com.

"I strongly support Robin and Joyce Hill's New Hope Foundation which is saving so many orphan lives in China. Read this amazing story of God's grace and accept the challenge to make a difference!"

--Steven Curtis Chapman

"I had the privilege of going to China and witnessing the work that God is doing through Robin and Joyce Hill. They are wonderful servants of God who lovingly care for the 'least of these.' I hope that many will read this book and consider their example."

--Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love

About Elisabeth Gifford: Elisabeth Gifford is a journalist who has written for the London Times and the Independent Newspapers. She lives in Kingston, England, and teaches children with dyslexia.

Disclosure: I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for posting a review on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Litfuse Publicity Group.

Guest Posting at Don't Let Life Pass You By: What Are You Doing With Your Joyfear?

2011-11-17T20:59:00.000-05:00

What Are You Doing With Your Joyfear?
Embarking on anything new can be exciting and downright scary. It's easy to recognize the feeling, like climbing the hill of a roller coaster.

'This might be fun.'

'No, it's a little scary.'

'But it's exhilarating!'

'No, it's really scary!'

I finally have a word for this feeling, thanks to fellow author and blogger Leo Babauta. It's called Joyfear... [read more]

Bookworm Wednesday: The Art of Helping by Lauren Briggs

2011-11-16T12:42:00.000-05:00

Today's Bookworm Wednesday post features an interview with author Lauren Briggs about her book The Art of Helping—What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting. I'm excited to share about it since I've already referenced it several times in my personal life and for our church's women's ministry.

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All of us want to offer comfort and support to someone who is hurting, but we often don’t know what to say or do. The Art of Helping—What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting addresses 30 of the most common heartaches people face and takes away your fear of involvement by helping you understand what people are feeling and going through. From over 100 interviews and her own life experiences, author Lauren Briggs shares proven advice and offers practical help with a list of what to say— and do.

Why should I read The Art of Helping?
Do you know someone who is facing a crisis and wondered what you could do to help? Have you ever faced a difficult time and wished your family and friends knew what you were going through and knew how to help you?

I found that during my darkest hours, no one knew how much I was hurting, what I was going through or how they might help.

This is a book you’ll want to read before you need it—so that you will have ideas of what you can do and how you can respond—when you first hear the news. We want to help our family and friends through the hard times, but the right words or actions just don’t come to mind. The Art of Helping will give you the tools and enable you to turn thoughts into action.

How will The Art of Helping change me?
The Art of Helping is your go to book when life gets tough. It is a social Bible filled with concrete, tangible action items to empower you to make a difference at times when we would otherwise feel helpless. When people get this book in their hands, they always say, “How I wish I had this book when my friend needed help.”

What are some basic Do’s and Don’ts I need to know?

DON’T wait before you make contact.
DO Respond as soon as you hear the news.

DON’T SAY “If there’s anything you need, give me a call.”
DO Offer a specific thing you can do.

DON’T put pressure on yourself to do something you don’t like to do.
DO use your gifts and talents to help.

DON’T minimize what they are going through.
DO offer caring statements of acknowledgement.

DON’T ASK “When will you be your old self again? or Aren’t you over it yet?”
DO understand that once their life is touched by tragedy, they will never be their “old self” again. They will eventually reach a “new normal” but life will never be the same.

What are some of your favorite creative suggestions in The Art of Helping?

A mother of two young children picked up a hurting family’s laundry on Mondays, took it home and returned it all laundered and folded on Thursdays.
A man volunteered to come mow the lawn once a week and do some simple “honey do” chores.
My sons brought their game boy to the hospital for a friend going through chemo therapy. Every few days they would bring a different game to swap.

How can I learn more about The Art of Helping?

The Art of Helping is reshaping the way people reach out to others. To view more information, visit my website: www.laurenbriggs.com. You can follow me on Facebook as Lauren Littauer Briggs and on Twitter as @Laurenbrgs. The Art of Helping is available in e-book and paperback formats through Amazon.com. If you would like an autographed copy of The Art of Helping, email me at Laurenbrgs@aol.com.

Disclosure: I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speakers Services (ChristianSpeakersServices.com).

Oh, Duggars! Meeting the Duggars & Signed Book Giveaway

2011-11-14T11:19:00.000-05:00

It was a meeting of the Micheles as I stood before Michelle Duggar and her beautiful family at the International Christian Retail Show this past July. A pretty ironic scene for this infertile, only child and adoptive mom of one. Michelle was sweet and gracious when I explained our differences - and my admiration for her as the heart of her large family. We talked about our name (she had just discovered her birth certificate has one "L" not two.) And she told me about their friends who had adopted. Michelle Duggar and I couldn't be more different, especially with their recent announcement of expecting number TWENTY! But looking back now, I see two women of God filled with love, joy, peace, and a passion for our unique callings.

I read through my signed (ahem) copy of A Love That Multiplies: An Up-Close View of How They Make it Work with interest as well as skepticism. How do two fruitful and multiplied people feed, clothe, and nurture 19 children, now including one with special needs? The world may never really know or understand. But here are a few highlights from the book:

They recognize the pros and cons of being famous, but all in all they consider the show a family ministry.
Their goals for their children include: keeping a close relationship with God, listening to His still small voice, confessing mistakes, serving others, and expressing gratitude.
Michelle wrote, "It is exhausting being a mom, whether you have one child or nineteen." [Thanks for the nod in my direction :) ] "Long ago I realized I simply couldn't do it on my own... Lord, You must have the wrong person here! I silently prayed. I simply can't do this. I'm not capable; I feel so overwhelmed and inadequate. I'm so grateful for these precious gifts You've given me, but, Father, I need Your help!"
There are recipes, photos, and tips throughout, but my favorite chapter was the one on Daily Training, Tips, and Practicalities (13).

I guess the Duggars aren't the only ones multiplying because I have *two* signed copies of their book, one to keep and one to give away! To enter, sign up for my newsletter by 11:59 PM EST Thursday November 17. Winner will be chosen at random and notified on Friday.

Destined to Live, Despite Me - Author Interview and Giveaway

2011-10-05T06:00:00.000-04:00

"Suicide should not be an option... it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! If you’re hurting now, let God love you back to wholeness."

--Yolanda Shanks, Author of Destined To Live, Despite Me

Today I'm excited to share hope for a heavy topic from Yolanda Shanks and her new book, Destined To Live, Despite Me. It contains a wealth of truth and encouragement for anyone struggling in life.

GIVEAWAY: Be sure to email me at MAIL "at" MOMMYFORWARD.com before Thursday October 6 at 11:59 PM Eastern for your chance to win a free copy for your home, church, or community library. [U.S. and Canadian addresses only, please.] A random winner will be announced on Friday.

What was your purpose for writing and who is the intended audience for Destined To Live, Despite Me?

I thought my intended audience was solely attempted suicide survivors, but as the book progressed, it became clear that absolutely every person has a breaking point. Another’s breaking point just may not manifest itself the same way.

My purpose for writing this book then became to simply use my testimony to assist others, regardless of their story. Assisting others in choosing to deliberately live life in abundance ... I am not speaking of an abundance of things or money ... but I am speaking of abundant joy, peace, and hope found in Christ Jesus.

You discuss having a breaking point. Will you share more about that?

I definitely had a breaking point. We all do. My particular one is not the important issue. The important issue is… that everyone has one. It can be any emotional event that leaves a person broken and destroyed. For someone else, their breaking point can be:

a car accident
a divorce after 20 year and the wife has to find a job
a child blaming themselves for the divorce
financial difficulties

That is why it is so important to understand the signs. Understanding the signs to save your family members, your neighbors, and your friends; obtaining knowledge in order to allow God to use you to help another. I have a list of warning signs on page 131 of the book.

In your book, the stats reveals that suicide is the third leading cause of death in the age group 15 to 24. What message of encouragement would you give to our young people today?

Know WHO you are and WHOSE you are. If I can elaborate, I want our next generation to NOT define themselves by the standard of this world, you know – not by the cars, clothes, only the tangibles – let’s consider our whole-man: mind, body, and soul. Chose to use the standard in which God defines you.

If you have surrendered your life to Christ, you are His child, a co-heir with Christ. You can stand on all of God’s promises in the Bible because you are sons and daughters of the Creator Himself. So do not walk defeated!

Chose to live this life deliberately – know that each morning you are alive, God has purpose for you.

Suicide should not be an option ... it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! If you’re hurting now, let God love you back to wholeness.

Now if you have not surrendered your life to Christ, I encourage you to not simply dismiss the fact that you are hearing this message right now – God is calling you personally to live this life and the next to come in His presence. Stop dismissing Him.

Will the struggle ever end for people who have survived? Or, is it always a constant that they could fall-back into feeling the hopelessness?

Struggles are a part of life. What matters most, is how we learn to respond to life struggles!

For anyone still considering suicide, first there has to be an elimination of this mindset as a workable alternative. Assistance is available by contacting a mental health professional or by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

For those who have survived a previous attempt and no longer struggle with thoughts of suicide but continue to live under the guilt and shame associated with their past actions; I am here to say that there is freedom in Christ Jesus! It is time for you to build a spiritual foundation for deliberate living. Pick up my book, learn how to shake off the unnecessary baggage, and gladly receive the Lover of your soul ... Jesus Christ ... who offers you hope, joy, and peace.

For those who have not considered suicide but are trapped in feelings of constant negativity, pick up my book as well. We are a hurting generation and people who have been hurt tend to hurt others; let’s chose to receive healing. I am a living proof that one can overcome the battle with feelings of hopelessness to the point of despair.

How would you sum up the book?

The book is my story, written for you. I am sharing my private life, my disappointments, my fears, my un-loveliness. Yes it started out hard for me, but the Lord poured out of me some of the things that had been holding me down.

I know now, that I can be alone; but I don’t have to be lonely,
I sometimes feel unloved; but God loves me unconditionally.
I can be financially broke; but God will provide.
I can be friendless; but Jesus is longing to be my friend.
My life can be broken; and He will put it back together again.
I can be a sinner. Jesus died for my sins, and your sins. He already paid the price

I will sum it up…….BUT GOD!

Where can we find out more about you, your ministry, and your book?
Please visit my website at www.YolandaShanks.com.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speakers Services (ChristianSpeakersServices.com).

First Ever Infertelevision Awards

2011-09-27T09:53:00.001-04:00

No matter how hard we try, we no/low-fertile chicks get reminded about our situations often, including on television. Shows like Teen Mom, A Baby Story, and Nineteen Kids and Counting can add salt to already aching wounds. [And no disrespect to any of these shows... I've personally met the Duggars. Michelle is a beautiful woman with a beautiful family.] But when you're longing for children and struggling to grow your own family, it's difficult to celebrate everyone else's blessings.

This week, after watching the season premiere of Sister Wives where Robyn announces her pregnancy, I realized there are times when shows handle infertility with sensitivity and grace. So I've decided to give out the first ever "Mommy Forward Infertelevision Awards" to two shows I'm proud to watch as an infertile girl. And the awards go to:

Sister Wives - For Sensitivity in Announcing a Pregnancy:
Robyn shares her pregnancy news with Meri (secondary infertility) before announcing it to the rest of the family. Meri is excited for Robyn and explains that her difficulties in the past have not been about the wives' joy but her (and daughter Mariah's) loss. Kody, Robyn, Meri, and even teen Mariah showed real emotion and sensitivity in dealing with a new pregnancy in the midst of another woman's infertility.

and

Giuliana and Bill - For Real-Life Coverage of an Infertile Couple:
Giuliana and Bill have been very open about their trials and tribulations around growing their family. We've watched consultations, treatment cycles, disappointments, and their decision to enjoy a TTC-free "Year of Fun", all while juggling work, family, and home life. Giuliana and Bill's example proves couples can and should continue living full lives despite a difficult road to parenthood.

Would you like to nominate a show for future Infertelevision Awards? Please leave the show's name and your reason, or any other comments, below. Thanks!

TV Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With Minimum Flair

2011-09-22T18:41:00.001-04:00

(If you're visiting from ICLW, welcome! Here's a little background about me.)

Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? Once you get past some foul language, it's a hilariously funny movie that my husband and I watch and quote often. In the scene below, Joanna (played by Jennifer Aniston) gets a lecture on wearing the minimum pieces of flair.

Flair Minimum
Office Space— MOVIECLIPS.com

It's been a rare, minimum-flair kind of week (hence the Office Space connection.) It started with a cold (or possibly allergies) on Sunday. We stayed home from church and small group, opting for extra sleep instead. The days that followed included light housework, the new Facebook layout, and a few thrift stores. I even caught 1/2 an episode of Dr. Phil.

Normally I'd sound like Joanna, "So more then?" But considering my normal weeks, I enjoyed expressing myself with only the minimum for a change.

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My Beautiful Mess (Women of Faith 2011 Review)

2011-09-15T12:39:00.002-04:00

I'm calling my Women of Faith experience my beautiful mess because nothing went as planned, not even this blog post.

I booked my hotel, invited a friend, and geared up for an uplifting girls' weekend. Then things started to unravel. My friend had to back out. So I cancelled the hotel and decided it was safest to attend only the Friday day sessions alone. I was a little bummed, but still anticipated whatever God had in store.

I pulled into the parking lot and entered the Wells Fargo Center. Worship had started, but I took the next few minutes to browse the book tables and use the restroom. Back on the concourse, I nearly jumped when I ran into my friend Diane. Now I had someone to sit with! (The Friday day portion was general seating.)

I settled in with Diane and company, excited to hear Sheila Walsh, one of my all-time favorite speakers. I credit Sheila's book Honestly (on her experience with mental illness) as the catalyst for seeking counseling for my own struggles. Whenever Sheila teaches insights on God's truth, it feels like hugs shared over tea and crumpets around her kitchen table. She talked about how unanswered prayers mean God has a bigger miracle in store than the one we've asked for. She reminded us of God's promises and the bleeding woman Jesus instructed to "go in peace." This challenged me on the lack of peace during our hurried mornings to get to the bus stop.

Soon Dr. Henry Cloud took the stage. He had a warm delivery and a great message as well. His first session focused on happiness. Research shows that happy people are givers (with joy and boundaries); are connected; and have "stretch" goals (that push us out of our comfort zone.) He believes this mainstream research points to things God outlines for us in His word. Too often we hear 3-point sermons: God's good. You're bad. Try harder. But Scripture tells us that Jesus came to seek and save the lost. He wants to heal us. And He wants us to imagine.

In his afternoon session, Dr. Cloud focused on necessary endings. This was hard (he warned us it would be,) but it was exactly what I needed to hear. Ecclesiastes talks about beginnings and endings. Even good things have seasons. Sometimes God calls us out of something (like a job, church, and friendships in my case) to something new. Dr. Cloud challenged us to consider what needs to end in our lives (isolation? an impossible-to-please person or church? temporary satisfactions that can never fulfill?) Refusing to look to those things or even ourselves - and having a real connection with God - will give us a life greater than we ever imagined.

Another bonus of my beautiful mess was making new friends with ladies from Diane's church. We talked about caring for aging parents, caring for our children, and the unique callings God has for our lives.

In the end, spending time with an old friend, making new friends, and hearing good, applicable teaching made my Women of Faith experience greater than I ever imagined, too. I would take God's beautiful mess over my best laid plans any day!

Women of Faith is a faith-based women's organization encouraging women of all ages and stages in life to grow in faith and spiritual maturity through a relationship with Jesus Christ and an understanding of God’s love and grace. For more information, visit womenoffaith.com.

Disclaimer: BookSneeze / Women of Faith provided two free tickets in exchange for my social media coverage and promotion of this event, although the views expressed are strictly my own.

Book review: Amish Values for Your Family

2011-09-02T07:54:00.000-04:00

"What does a teacher do with thirty-six 'You're #1!' stickers?" That's the question one Amish teacher posed in Suzanne Woods Fisher's new book, Amish Values for Your Family: What We Can Learn from the Simple Life. While we like children to feel special, the Amish would rather emphasize God's unconditional love over temporary admiration. Contrast this with our efforts to elevate all children (such as "Everyone's a winner" team sports) hoping to avoid hurt feelings and low self-esteem. Now, with the help of this book, we can learn from the Amish's deep-rooted values that have stood the test of time.

In the same chapter, Fisher highlighted the sense of community surrounding the Amish schoolhouse. Pupils learn to be team players with their classmates as well as with their parents. The one-room school reinforces the values, relationships, and culture that separate Amish children from the outside world, our world.

Along those lines, the author challenges us to get involved in our children's education. Boy, does this hit home. While I'm involved in our son's education (and PTO to some degree), I try to stay clear of the classroom. I pride myself on being a "send-in" mom who would rather donate items than work directly with the children. A few days ago at back-to-school night, our son's new teacher mentioned classroom volunteers. Our son leaned over to say "Maybe you should do that". Normally I would dismiss it, but this book has me thinking. Perhaps our son's desire to interact with me in the classroom trumps the uncomfortable feeling and lack of skills I might exhibit. And if this isn't the time to build those relationships, then when?

Suzanne has a great admiration for the Plain people and believes they provide wonderful examples to the world. In both her fiction and non-fiction books, she has an underlying theme: You don't have to "go Amish" to incorporate many of their principles--simplicity, living with less, appreciating nature, forgiving others more readily-- into your life. If you are looking for a back-to-basics, simple approach to a meaningful life, I highly recommend Amish Values for Your Family.

To celebrate the release of Amish Values for Your Family, Suzanne has teamed up with her publisher Revell Books to give away a Kindle, and with Bill Coleman (the amazing photographer used on Suzanne’s book covers) to give away a signed Bill Coleman original.

One Grand Prize winner will receive an Amish Values Prize Package (valued at over $200) and includes:

* A brand new KINDLE

* A Signed Bill Coleman original

* Amish Values for Your Family (for KINDLE)

Click on one of the icons to enter. Winner will be announced on 9/2 at Suzanne’s blog. Be sure to stop by the blogs on Suzanne’s blog tour – many have copies of Amish Values for Your Family to give away.

But, wait there's more! Suzanne is running a Bill Coleman caption contest during the month of August on her blog. Title one of Bill’s gorgeous photos for a chance to win a print from Bill’s Amish Photo site and/or a copy of Amish Values for Your Family.

Suzanne can be found on-line at: www.suzannewoodsfisher.com.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for posting a review on my blog. For more information on this book tour and its sponsor, visit litfusegroup.com/blogtours/text/13421895.

Gotta Tell Ya Tuesday: Mabel's Labels

2011-08-23T17:31:00.002-04:00

I've always been a stationary girl: paper, pens, stickers... So given the opportunity to try The Ultimate Back-to-School Combo set of personalized labels from Mabel's Labels, my fingers couldn't type fast enough (You should have seen me ripping open the package when they arrived!)

The kit contains waterproof labels and tags to keep our son's stuff out of the lost and found bins. I wish I had bought them for his preschool years, but I'm finding tons of uses for them as he enters 2nd grade, too. For example, I love to find thrift and consignment store bargains. Often they have another child's name written in permanent marker. Not a problem this year! Mabel's Labels made it easy for me to switch this sweatshirt to our son's name instead.

I wholeheartedly agree with The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck when she said, "I could not live without these labels." Take a minute to browse their website at www.mabelslabels.com or call 1.866.30.MABEL to order a set for your family.

Mabel's Labels provided me with a complimentary set of labels in exchange for this review.

5 Signs That I Might Not Be a Real Blogger...

2011-08-23T16:12:00.001-04:00

1. I've never attended a blogging conference.

2. I missed my blogoversary.

3. I have more product reviews than real-life posts to share.

4. I don't publicize my blogroll (probably because I don't read them.)
5. I like leaving comments more than I feel comfortable receiving them
:)

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Book review: Too Blessed to be Stressed by Debora Coty

2011-08-22T08:41:00.000-04:00

In Too Blessed to Be Stressed by Debora Coty, you’ll find simple, practical steps for attaining the peace that you crave as you struggle with the stresses of finances, health, career, relationships, self-image and family. You’ll discover healing, refreshment, and revitalization for your own spirit, body and mind through heart-changing real life stories, biblically based insights, and short chapters for on-the-run convenience.

My review: Too Blessed to be Stressed is more than just a pretty cover. This little giant is packed with easy-to-read, practical encouragement to bless readers from here to eternity.

I loved Debora's use of humor as she tackled the biggies: time management, relationships, and faith. For example, she talks about 'calendar constipation' and needing to perform an 'activities enema' to simplify our lives and create more white space on the calendar. But there's no preaching - just refreshing talk and practical tips for everyday women like me.

To celebrate the release of Too Blessed to Be Stressed, Debora Coty is hosting the Too Blessed to Be Stressed KINDLE Giveaway!

Debora has created a “Too Blessed” prize package worth over $150! One grand prize winner will receive:

* A brand new Latest Generation KINDLE with Wi-Fi and Pearl Screen

* Too Blessed to Be Stressed by Debora Coty (for KINDLE)

To enter just click one of the icons below or visit http://wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/141953. Hurry! The giveaway ends August 25th. Winner will be announced on the evening of the 25th during Debora's De-Stress Facebook Party! Debora will be hosting a "life-preserver" chat (it’s okay if you haven’t read the book – who knows, you might WIN a copy!), testing trivia skills, swapping funny stories, handing out some decom-stress tips, and giving away tons of great stuff! (Chocolate, books, and more!) Hope to see you there - bring your friends!

Also - be sure to check out Debora's series of Stress-Buster videos at her website: www.DeboraCoty.com. She’s also hosting a photo caption contest on her blog for a chance to win a copy of Too Blessed to Be Stressed.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for posting a review on my blog. For more information on this book tour and its sponsor, visit litfusegroup.com/blogtours/text/13418047.

Real Moms, Popped Balloons, and Loss

2011-08-21T17:32:00.000-04:00

(If you're visiting from ICLW, welcome! Here's a little background about me.)

It's been an emotional week. We celebrated our son's 7th birthday with a cute Angry Birds themed party (since all three of us are big fans of the game.)

Until now, I would have said that our son, adopted at 13mos. from Russia, seemed well-adjusted and secure in our family, even though I know he's too young yet to process the loss he’s experienced as a child placed for adoption. I’ve noticed that he’s very attached to items, from his own toys to miscellaneous items like paperclips he finds at school. More recently, when a “special balloon” (that he only had for a few minutes) popped, it brought him to tears for a good 30 minutes. He asked to speak to me alone, expressing that he didn’t know whether to “forget about the special balloon or not.” A few days prior on his birthday, he told us that he’d like our family to return to Russia when he gets older to meet his “real mom” (his words; After all, I wasn't prepared to hear the "R" word so soon.) Whether there’s an actual connection or not, I couldn’t help but link the “special balloon” to his birth mom, explaining that someone or something can always be special to us even if we aren’t with them anymore. When he “adopted” a new special balloon, he invited me to talk to it. I told it how happy we are that it’s in our family and that I thought he would like it here – my mind again returning to his adoption and how happy we are to have him as our son. When the second balloon popped, we were both crying. All I could do was tell him I was sorry it happened and that he was hurt.

I’m seeing for the first time how “adoption and loss” may be affecting our son. It’s unchartered territory for us. But as author Margot Starbuck (an adoptee and adoptive mom) shared in my book, "We fail our children when we don't make room for them to acknowledge and grieve about what they lost prior to being enfolded into their forever family." I can only ask God for wisdom while gathering information from experts and other families to support him (and us) the best I can.

Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Bookworm Wednesday: Moving From Fear to Freedom by Grace Fox

2011-08-02T05:30:00.000-04:00

Bookworm Wednesday celebrates the written word, whether it's new-to-the-nightstand, an exciting e-book, or a timeless title.

I'm pleased to present this early, special edition of Bookworm Wednesday to showcase Moving From Fear to Freedom, a powerful video series and workbook by author Grace Fox.

Has fear kept you awake at night? Has it hindered you from saying yes to a new opportunity? Has it caused you to make impulsive choices you later regretted? If so, you’re not alone! Fear is a big deal for many women. If left unchecked, it can prevent us from fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives. So, what’s the answer? How can we move beyond fear into freedom?

Author Grace Fox has partnered with Stonecroft Ministries to write a small group resource titled Moving from Fear to Freedom: A Woman-to-Woman Conversation. This resource addresses women’s common fears and gives biblical and practical strategies to move beyond them.

http://youtu.be/5eu3hx8b2DM

Fear seems to be an ever-present theme throughout the Bible. Describe the difference between healthy and unhealthy fear.
Healthy fear steers us toward wise decisions and actions. It promotes self-preservation. For example, we look both ways before crossing the street for fear of getting hit by a car. In contrast, unhealthy fear hinders our ability to fully embrace life because it consumes us with negative thinking and what-ifs. The effects can literally make us sick.

How does destructive fear stunt our emotional or spiritual growth?
Destructive fear—the fear of rejection, for instance—might keep us from admitting to someone that we’ve been physically or sexually abused. Without receiving the help we need to deal with those issues, we never experience freedom. Our struggles might seriously hamper our ability to truly love and receive love in a marital relationship. This is just one example among many of how our emotional growth is affected.

Spiritually, fear can cause us to say no to God-given dreams or assignments because we’re afraid of personal inadequacy or financial insecurity. If we never step out in faith, then we never experience God’s ability to equip and provide in amazing ways. Spiritual growth comes when we say yes to God and “do it afraid.”

You suggest we need to place our focus on God and not on fear. In practical terms, how do we do this?
Several strategies that I’ve found helpful…

Memorize Scripture promises and meditate on them throughout the day and as we fall asleep at night. We are transformed as our mind is renewed.
Fill our homes with praise and worship music.
Spend time in God’s word on a regular basis, not just when we’re in a panic. The more we do so, the more familiar we become with His promises and the better prepared we are to face frightening circumstances when they come.
Talk to the Lord throughout the day. Invite Him into the mundane. Practice His presence. The more we get to know Him, the more we’re able to trust Him in the face of fear.

Most of us feel inadequate at times. You suggest we cannot use our inadequacies as an excuse for not participating with God’s purposes. How do we get past this?
We get past our fear of inadequacy by admitting we have it. Then we need to retrain our thinking to focus on God’s adequacies rather than our inadequacies.

Tell God how we feel. "Help! I don't think I can do such-and-such."
Tell a trusted friend and ask her to pray for us.
Move forward. Do it afraid and expect God to equip us.

Describe this resource and how participants can receive the greatest benefit as they use it.
It’s a seven-week study filled with biblical teaching and personal anecdotes that can be used easily by either a small group of friends in a private home setting or a large women’s ministry. Each session begins by viewing a 25-30 minute teaching video. When the video ends, participants follow suggested Table Talk questions for about 15 minutes. Then they do the Bible study questions together. Each participant uses her own guide book so she can take notes and write answers. Facilitator’s notes are included. The study covers these topics:

an overview of fear

fear for our loved ones' well-being
fear of personal inadequacy
fear of rejection
fear of facing the ghosts of our past
fear of the storms of life
fear of the unknown future

Where can I buy this study?
It’s available through your local Christian book store, on
Amazon, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.christianbooks.com, www.stl-distribution.com, www.winepressbooks.com, and of course, on Grace’s website, where group discounts apply. www.gracefox.com. Visit Grace’s website for more information about her other books and speaking ministry. www.gracefox.com.

For opportunities to win a FREE copy of this DVD / Study Guide set of MOVING FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM, please follow this CSS Virtual Book Tour on Twitter (@Christianspkrs) or Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/CSSVBT.GraceFox.MovingFromFeartoFreedom)

I was given a complimentary copy of this DVD / Study Guide set from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speaker Services (www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com).

Bookworm Wednesday: The Sabbatical Pile

2011-07-27T10:58:00.000-04:00

Bookworm Wednesday celebrates the written word, whether it's new-to-the-nightstand, an exciting e-book, or a timeless title.

Everyone has a security blanket. Be it a relationship, a financial investment, or a favorite bear, we like to feel reassured. If I had to confess, books provide me with a sense of comfort and protection, not far behind my faith.

I've never been a cover-to-cover kind of girl (it's safe to bet that I don't read much fiction.) I rarely focus on one book or even one topic at a time. Instead, I create several piles around themes or projects. I'll collect books from the library, second-hand stores, bookstores and even websites hoping that whether I need the information contained inside now or in the future, it's just a pile and page turn away.

For my first Bookworm Wednesday post, I'd like to discuss what I'm affectionately calling my "sabbatical pile." These are the books I'm turning to for direction and inspiration during my current summer sabbatical. These include: [note: most are affiliate links]

The Cause within You: Finding the One Great Thing You Were Created to Do in This World
Creating Your Personal Life Plan (a free download when you sign up for Michael Hyatt's e-newsletter)
Invitations from God: Accepting God's Offer to Rest, Weep, Forgive, Wait, Remember and More
Praying in Color: Drawing a New Path to God (Active Prayer Series)
Unlimited: How to Build an Exceptional Life
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

Each of these titles have enhanced my sabbatical experience in some way as I search for clarity and purpose in regards to my goals. Which books have you enjoyed or found helpful recently? Leave a comment below. Coming this fall, I hope to offer Bookworm Wednesday as a blog carnival where we can post, link, and comment together.

Happy reading,

Christmas in July!

2011-07-24T23:48:00.001-04:00

Christmas came early for the Scott household - and it's July! First, my husband Eric and I had a blast at the International Christian Retail Show (ICRS) in Atlanta where we promoted my first book, Praying Through Your Adoption. I loved sharing books and encouragement with authors, readers, and book store owners. Meeting Karen Kingsbury, June Hunt, the Duggars, and sharing my book with a new audience, like the wonderful Tricia Goyer, blessed me beyond measure.

Once we got home, the gifts kept coming. I found out I was selected to attend a Women of Faith weekend in Philadelphia as a BookSneeze blogger. I've attended WOF events in the past, so I know the blessings that await - from the awesome worship to the excellent speakers. I LOVE the theme they've chosen "Imagine" and the description on the website that reads "the God who loves you can do far more than you can ever Imagine." I can attest to that, and I'm excited to blog, tweet, and post the nuggets of hope and wisdom I receive there. In the meantime, here's a video preview to wet our appetites -

One final Christmas-in-July shout out goes to the time I've been devoting to my sabbatical. It's been time well-spent to refresh and refocus. I'm looking forward to sharing more about it in a future post.

What gifts have you received lately? Let's celebrate together by leaving your comment below.

Merry Christmas,

Disclaimer: BookSneeze / Women of Faith is providing two free tickets in exchange for my social media coverage and promotion of this event, although the views expressed are strictly my own.

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

More than a breath of Fresh Air

2011-07-15T21:52:00.000-04:00

The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers,

but for the wide world's joy.

~ Henry Ward Beecher

Look outside your window. What are the first three things you see? In my rural setting, I see sunshine, birds, and trees swaying in my fenced-in yard. It's different from the row-home porches, telephone poles, and sidewalks I grew up with in Philadelphia.

My friends at the Fresh Air Fund, a program that uses host families and summer camps to provide free summer vacations for New York City children, asked me to help spread the word. They are still in need of 850 host families for this summer. Host families are volunteers who open their hearts and homes to children from the city to give them a Fresh Air experience that can change lives.

While I never participated in this program, I did benefit from overnight trips to a former classmate's house in the suburbs. Little things like running through her grassy yard, falling asleep to crickets' melodies, and seeing an entire room dedicated to toys and play (her family's playroom) provided breaths of fresh air. Life in the city taught me about diversity, community, and hard work. But seeing sights beyond my neighborhood expanded my horizons and experiences, enabling me to dream bigger than my home life. I can't imagine my life without either experience. Now I try to create those same moments for our son since adopting him from Russia.

Please consider helping the Fresh Air Fund provide life-changing experiences for kids this summer, perhaps even by sharing the view from your window.

About the Fresh Air Fund:
The Fresh Air Fund, an independent, not-for-profit agency, has provided free summer vacations to more than 1.7 million New York City children from low-income communities since 1877. Nearly 10,000 New York City children enjoy free Fresh Air Fund programs annually. In 2010, close to 5,000 children visited volunteer host families in suburbs and small town communities across 13 states from Virginia to Maine and Canada. 3,000 children also attended five Fresh Air camps on a 2,300-acre site in Fishkill, New York. The Fund’s year-round camping program serves an additional 2,000 young people each year. For more information, visit www.FreshAir.org.

Please note: This is a volunteer post containing my own thoughts and opinions. No compensation or benefits were provided.

Sabbatical Decisions

2011-06-24T06:33:00.000-04:00

I'm a woman of few words, but I'm rarely speechless. Up early, staring at piles of laundry, paperwork, books to be read, and articles to write, I sat down to sort through my thoughts with a blog post. Sometimes a definition will inspire me, so I headed over to dictionary.com to look up "sabbatical", which I put myself on to figure out my next steps. The page loaded, and as I got ready to type the word into the search box, I saw that the Word of the Day is - no, it can't be - "sabbatical". Random? God? I'm not sure, but the feeling in my stomach seems to say creepy. Now in the spirit of full disclosure, I didn't wake up with that magical word in the hopes of orchestrating my day. I had read a post on Michael Hyatt's blog a few days ago on Should you dare to think about a sabbatical? (Thanks, Michael. I have needed to think about that and I did!)

With the creepy word-of-the-day instance behind me, what was I going to write about again? Oh, yes, my sabbatical. I can't say it's been much of a sabbatical yet (which, by the way, is "any extended period of leave from one's customary work, especially for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc." - in case you're not up on the word-of-the-day. LOL) I'm still the full-time wife and WAHM I've always been, promoting my book and bettering myself through faith and self-improvement books. It's fair to say my sabbatical is mental, at best. Approaching our family vacation, the International Christian Retail Show, and a new school year, I wanted to sort through my goals, dreams, and priorities again. I have several "Praying Through" guides I'd like to write along with improving this blog. I'd like to optimize my schedule so I don't feel so scattered among my home, work, online, and real-life happenings. But how do I sort through this all and come out with a clear, proper direction? Will reading through Tim Ferris' 4-Hour Workweek or Jillian Michaels' Unlimited: How to Build an Exceptional Life (both in 'the pile') really accomplish anything?

I'm a visual person. Maybe I need a vision board.
I'm a planner. Maybe I need a list.
I'm a Christian. Maybe some Bible and prayer time is the cure-all.
I'm indecisive. How can I hone in on my life's purpose and next steps when I can't even pick a method to get there?!?

So here I am on sabbatical day 6. I've isolated the questions...

What are my goals, dreams, and priorities?
What is my purpose and mission statement?
What would excite me daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, etc.?
To what audiences and by which methods do I feel most called to contribute?
Which projects excite me and which am I willing to sacrifice (even for a little while?)
What mentors and materials are available to model after?
What role should income potential play in determining my goals, dreams, and priorities?

The hard part now becomes answering these questions. Stay tuned...

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Family Report Card

2011-06-19T23:27:00.000-04:00

"The report card helps give us a focus, and it frames the dialogue for moving forward." ~ Adrian Smith

I have a passion for forward movement (hence the name Mommy Forward. You can read more background on me here.) But this morning it hit me... with so many areas to address, I should probably sit down and take inventory, for myself as well as my entire household and family. So I put together a Family Report Card to brainstorm what's going well, what needs improvement, and the actions required to make positive changes.

I'm juggling a lot right now - summer break, promoting my new book, business and ministry opportunities, passions, goals, and struggles. I'm in good company. However, I've decided it's time to take a sabbatical from blogging to refocus and regroup. I reserve the right to chime in from time to time, but the majority of the next 8 weeks will be spent in offline thought, prayer, and hopefully action (or at least creating a plan of action.) I hope to return and take part in the SITS girls' 31-day build a better blog challenge in September. Until then, I'll be spending time with my family, exercising, attempting to live simply and mindfully, and gathering focus and strength for whatever's next.

Please say a prayer for a meaningful and worthwhile break. Thanks! Whatever you're working on, I wish you the same.

Checklist Image: Rawich / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Faith and Reality

2011-06-15T13:58:00.000-04:00

Hi, I'm Michele, and I'm a Reality show junkie. So, if you run a support group for people like me, I just became a member.

Our fascination (bordering obsession) with other people must date back to ancient times. Why else would the Bible warn us about gossiping and coveting? Yet today's innovations, like streaming video, social media, and smart phones, provide constant, unprecedented access to others. Millions of us around the globe are watching, voting, and connecting. (Hmm, if we could text our political election votes like our Top Chef favs, we'd probably see higher turn-outs.)

The idea behind this post came after I referenced several shows with friends this week. First, I quoted the spouses on Sister Wives in a conversation about jealousy. "I don't personally believe in polygamy," I explained, "but I like what the Browns say in the opening of their show. 'Love should be multiplied, not divided.' and 'I think there's room for everyone.'" Next, I used the premise of two shows to explain a third. "Auction Hunters is a cross between Storage Wars and American Pickers." That explanation surprised even me. When I followed the comment with one about the historical treasures that come into the Pawn Stars shop, I figured it was time to write a post. And with today's news that Amber from MTV's Teen Mom show attempted suicide, I want to come clean about why I'm more than a junkie. I'm a Reality television advocate.

Reality TV keeps us connected.
On any given day, I can observe and visit with a cross-section of the world - couples getting married; couples having children; teens having children; families buying houses; families renovating houses; singers, dancers, bakers, and fashion designers pursuing (and sometimes testing) their dreams; along with any number of people buying, selling, celebrating, or crying.

Reality TV teaches compassion.
One morning last month, our 6-year-old son caught me watching the latest DVR'ed episode of Sister Wives. Because I'm familiar with the Brown Family and their values, I knew I wouldn't be exposing him to profanity or other social ills by allowing him to watch it with me. I seized the opportunity to explain the difference in what we believe and how we all need to respect each other even if when we don't agree.

Reality TV exposes needs.
Shows like Mob Wives, Intervention, and 16 and Pregnant provide a window into the lives of everyday people we might otherwise never meet. For example, some hurting people visit their pastor or counselor. Others get a tattoo. But I can honestly say I've seen more scripture on tattoo shows like LA Ink than I've heard in some sermons. We can't claim to be out of touch with society when prayer needs are delivered directly to our boob tubes every day. (Hence, I've already prayed for Amber.)

In the end, Reality TV is more popular than ever. And I don't think it's going away any time soon. Sure, it has its drawbacks. But there are also ways to use it for good.

Image: nuchylee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net