If I Die Young

Next week I turn the big 3-8. We could debate whether that's young or old all day long, but for these purposes, let's call that young.

If you're not familiar with the song If I Die Young as sung by The Band Perry, this beautiful song is filled with heart-tugging truths. My favorite line is:

Life ain't always what you think it ought to be

How many years I wasted wishing for what I thought life should be instead of simply enjoying it, accepting it! The joys, the mistakes, the hurdles, and the hurts have all contributed to the person I am today. The other day someone asked me to define the purpose of Mommy Forward. In a nutshell, it's to help others to realize and live their worth - something I needed to learn and to live first before I could share it. Joyce Meyer once said, "Act valuable and start enjoying yourself and the life Jesus died to give you." And that's what I have attempted to do.

Last night during worship at a women's event, eyes filled with tears, I realized what it feels like to live the restoration of what the locusts had eaten. Life has not always been easy. But God has done and is doing amazing things on my behalf, personally and professionally, and I want Him to receive all of the glory. No, life wasn't always what I thought it ought be be, but what the enemy meant for evil, God has used for good.

In the past few years, I've realized several dreams. I became a mom through adoption; lost over 50 pounds; became a published author and speaker; got involved in women's ministry; started a company; and am working to promote local businesses. I've been comforted, blessed, and restored beyond measure.

Each day I learn a little more how to accept and embrace what is instead of wishing life away for what ought to be. I'm vocalizing it here because it's never too early or too late to make a change. So, if I do die young, I'll join my Savior in heaven and have no regrets at all.

Questioning Jesus

Have you ever questioned Jesus? Or does just the thought make you gasp? If good communication marks a healthy relationship, then dialoguing with Jesus - even questioning Him - seems healthy, right? After all, Jesus loved questions. That's how He handled the woman at the well, the chief priests, and countless others with whom He interacted.

But the question He posed to a chronically ill man struck a nerve in me, "Do you want to get well?" (see John 5:6.) I imagined myself questioning back, "Duh, Jesus, of course he wants to get well! He's tired of living this way. He came to see You, didn't he? What other proof do You need? Sheesh!"

Sure, the man wanted to get well. But how much so? He had traveled to the edge of the pool only to make excuses. No one was there to help him. Other people got ahead of him. Blah, blah, blah. Jesus challenged him to get up, walk, and take an active role in his healing.

Today I stare at a photo of myself from 50 pounds ago and ask, "Michele, do you want to get well?" My heart replies, "Duh, of course I want to get well! I'm tired of living this way. I had lap band surgery, didn't I? What other proof do I need? Sheesh!"

Sure, I wanted to lose weight, gain energy and confidence, and improve the quality of my life. But how much so? Perhaps I, too, have traveled to the edge of wellness only to make excuses. The band hasn't been as successful as I'd hoped and I've made all of the changes I'm willing to make.

In some ways, I'm like a sailor who dropped their boat in the water but refused to study the wind, raise the sail, and steer. To that I might question, "Why are you going to choose failure when success is an option?" (one of my favorite quotes from Jillian Michaels.)

If I'm completely honest with myself, Jesus is challenging me to take the next steps toward wellness: to practice mindful eating, become disciplined with my calories, and exercise more. I guess that's why pointing a finger at someone else always ends with pointing several fingers back at me.

A heartfelt note on healing: If given the option, we would probably all choose complete healing. But life doesn't work that way. Often times, like the apostle Paul, we face difficult circumstances that cannot be willed or prayed away. Whatever you're facing, I don't belittle your pain or imply that you lack faith enough to change it. Instead, because of my own painful experiences, I offer a hug and a prayer for enduring strength. 

Image: Dominic Harness / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Moving Forward in 2012

"Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself."  - Author unknown

It's natural to reflect on the old and forge ahead toward the new, especially at the dawn of a new year. And while my goals still outnumber my accomplishments, I'm proud of the new ground I covered in 2011 - publishing a book, leading a Bible study, and forming a company, to name a few. My Type A, self-evaluating personality would normally sit here for a while, analyzing and agonizing over twelve months of opportunities and decisions. This year, however, be it wisdom, age, fatigue, or a combination, I'm content to simply close the door on 2011 and anticipate the coming year.

Sometimes I'm asked what "Mommy Forward" means to me. Surely it stands for something enough to name a blog and now a company with that name. I came up with a few tag lines over the years, like "inspiring the ME in Mommy" and "nurturing myself without neglecting my family" to capture the idea that moms should take care of themselves along with their families. In 2012, I'm ready to dive deeper.

FORWARD is an acronym for what I believe are the key areas of life: Faith, Organization, Relationships, Work, Activities, Rest, and Discovery. As I live out the days of this new, leap year, I will explore how balancing these 7 areas helps me and my family to thrive, since being the best "me" I can be benefits us all.

If what George Eliot once said is true, that "it is never too late to be what you might have been," may 2012 bring us closer still.