Wednesday, November 4, 2009

To Scream or Not to Scream

A few years ago on New Year's Eve, some friends dared me to scream with them off their back deck. I'm pretty reserved. But, after weighing the pros and cons, I decided to join them in this harmless fun. Following their lead, I mustered up every ounce of strength in my body only to let out the wimpiest scream ever heard! I just couldn't do it. We had a good laugh. However, I'm still bothered there was no scream in me.

Such is the case when life's pressures begin to weigh heavy on me. We've been working with our son's school to correct a mix-up over learning support services he needs. I wanted to scream, "You guys dropped the ball. We attended every meeting and filled out every piece of paperwork to let you know he and his needs were coming, but you still let him slip through the cracks!" I also wanted to remind God "I told You this would happen if we sent him to Kindergarten this year!" Instead, I asked God for more faith, sent polite emails to the school, and requested a meeting hoping you really can attract more bees with honey.

Then, there's my mom's upcoming surgery to remove a benign brain tumor we've been watching for the past four years. I wanted to scream, "Why now, God? This is my mom! This is her head! Please don't let anything happen to her." And yet the good-little-girl inside warns me you shouldn't scream at God that way.

Finally, there are the pets, the meals, the dishes, my work and everything else that screams for my attention. I want to scream back "I'm doing the best I can!" But I don't. I sift through books & magazines hoping to find THE tip that will help me balance it all.

Even if I am not the best screamer, I'm starting to see the value in at least trying. Maybe there's a lesson for me from that New Year's Eve...

It's better to have lived with a wimpish scream than never to have lived at all.

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