For Day 2 of the blogging challenge sponsored by SITS Girls, Standards of Excellence, Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances, I decided to re-post this entry from 09/22/08 because it sums up where I've been and where I'm heading.
Have you ever seen an old barn door that has weathered a few storms? It's pretty common here in rural Pennsylvania. The old door may display a certain charm and beauty but, without the proper care, the wood will rot and the door will cease to serve its purpose. If the door cannot open, it won't let light or air inside. If it does not close, it can't keep animals safe and intruders out.
I think the same is true for us. When I see old and even recent photos of myself, I look tired, lifeless, and weathered. Any charm and beauty became buried beneath pain, fears, and insecurities. To be honest, I was not giving myself proper care spiritually, emotionally, or physically. I wasn't reading my Bible often. I wasn't investing time in healthy friendships. I wasn't exercising, making wise food choices, or getting proper rest. In essence, I no longer served my true purpose. I hid my gifts and personality inside for fear of rejection and imperfection. I wasn't engaged in my life or the lives of those around me. I only existed.
I'm thankful to report that so much has changed. Like my new headshots, I am full of life, color, and joy again. This fresh coat of paint is exciting because it follows the storms of infertility, a difficult international adoption, job loss, depression, and adjusting to motherhood.
My upcoming lap-band surgery would be pointless if my heart and mind were not changing along with my body. The door has gotten its fresh coat of paint. Look out world, the barn is next!