Friday, February 25, 2011

Mama Loves Fat Cakes (But Not Fat Jeans)

It was an innocent comment, funny actually. Last Thanksgiving weekend as we selected snacks from a hotel vending machine, Noah blurted, "Mama loves Fat Cakes!" We giggled over his reference to Disney's iCarly show and my favorite character, Sam. If you don't know, Fat Cakes are the equivalent of Hostess snack cakes or those delicious TastyKakes (of which any Philadelphian would boast.) Sam goes crazy over them (and chicken... and most foods for that matter.) We stopped to ponder whether Noah watches too much TV before celebrating our goodies like prizes from a claw machine (another Scott family favorite pastime.) Just like that snack time and joke time were over.

Now that I think about it, there's an eerie truth to that scripted line. This mama does like fat cakes - and cookies, and chocolate, and all things fat-producing. Even as a lap-band patient, it's been a constant struggle to choose nutrition over taste, as evidenced by my long plateau, lack of exercise, and recent binges. The result? Playing with the same pounds back and forth for over a year, teetering between sizes 14 and 16, large and extra-large. My surgeon said I can lose another 20 or 40+ pounds, but it's my choice and will require me to fight for it. If I'm honest, my initial 60 pound weight loss was "good enough" to give me a nicer wardrobe, more energy, and a boost of confidence. I had made enough changes to sustain my weight loss but nothing more. I guess I wanted my cake and to eat it, too, falling back into old habits that will only jeopardize my success.

Like an addict trying to get clean, I hit rock bottom again this week when forced to bring back my fat jeans. Tucked away only as a reminder (or so I thought), my comfy fat jeans rescued me from the cookie dough, chocolate, and candy I've been inhaling. More importantly, they rescued me from myself and the destruction I've been causing.

Mama will always love fat cakes but not fat jeans. It's time to roll up my sleeves for round two of this journey.

iCarly cast photo courtesy of; Sam photo courtesy of; Depressed woman photo is royalty-free and used with permission.

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